Marriages, whether new or enduring, can face changes that influence the relationship. Studies show that first marriages have a 50% failure rate, with second and third marriages facing even higher rates of divorce.
While no two relationships are identical, research indicates certain difficult periods in marriages that can lead to separation.
Let’s delve into the common years when divorces occur and the reasons behind failed marriages.
Critical Periods in a Marriage
Research indicates that divorces often happen within the first two years of marriage or between the fifth and eighth years. Years seven and eight are particularly risky.
The average duration of a marriage before divorce is roughly eight years for first marriages and seven years for second marriages.
Communication and commitment are also essential factors in maintaining a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Couples who communicate openly and honestly, and who are committed to working through challenges together, are more likely to weather the ups and downs of marriage.
It’s important for couples to continue investing in their relationship, even after the initial “honeymoon phase” has passed. Spending quality time together, showing appreciation for each other, and being willing to compromise are all key components of a successful marriage.
Ultimately, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. However, by prioritizing communication, commitment, and continued effort, couples can increase their chances of staying together for the long haul.
Common Reasons for Divorce
Financial Strain
Financial difficulties, especially during economic crises like the current pandemic, can strain marriages. It is essential for couples to communicate openly about their financial situation and work together to find solutions to ease the strain.
Changing Goals
Divergent aspirations as individuals evolve can lead to marital breakdowns. It is important for couples to regularly discuss their goals and make sure they are on the same page to avoid potential conflicts in the future.
Extramarital Relationships
Infidelity can create tension in marriages and contribute to divorce rates. Building trust and maintaining open communication are vital in preventing extramarital relationships from causing irreparable damage to a marriage.
Family Conflicts
Incompatibility with in-laws or family members can create friction within a marriage. Setting boundaries and finding ways to respectfully navigate family conflicts can help prevent them from affecting the relationship between spouses.
Loss of Connection
Over time, a loss of emotional connection can lead to couples falling out of love and seeking separation. It is important for partners to prioritize spending quality time together, fostering emotional intimacy, and continuously working on strengthening their bond to prevent a loss of connection.
Factors such as financial problems, lack of communication, infidelity, unrealistic expectations, and differences in values and goals can also contribute to higher divorce rates.
Longevity of Marriages Statistics:
- On average, first marriages that end in divorce last about 8 years.
- Second marriages have a higher divorce rate, with about 60% ending in divorce.
- Interestingly, the divorce rate among couples who cohabitate before marriage is higher than among those who do not.
It is important to note that divorce rates have been declining in recent years, which may be attributed to factors such as changing societal norms, increased education levels, and more accessible resources for couples facing challenges in their marriage.
Overall, understanding the various factors influencing divorce rates can help individuals and couples take proactive steps to strengthen their relationships and mitigate the risk of divorce.
Tips for Strengthening Your Marriage
To enhance your marriage, consider accepting your partner’s emotions, practicing honesty, avoiding assumptions, and establishing new relationship guidelines.
Recognizing potential challenges, such as dissatisfaction around the tenth year of marriage, can aid couples in building a strong and enduring relationship.
Navigating the Challenges
Last updated on Jun 01, 2025
Research suggests that around the tenth year of marriage, many women experience peak marital dissatisfaction, potentially leading to unresolved issues that can disrupt a household.
Addressing these concerns and striving for mutual growth can help prevent negative outcomes in a marriage.
It is important for couples to communicate openly and honestly with each other, addressing any issues that arise in a respectful manner. Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through difficult times.
Setting aside dedicated time for each other, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and showing appreciation and gratitude towards one another are all important aspects of nurturing a strong and lasting relationship.
Keys to Marital Happiness
Effective Communication
Open discussions and understanding are essential for marital contentment. Regular date nights, honest conversations, and shared experiences can fortify a marriage.
Parenting Challenges
Parenting can strain a relationship. Balancing emotional and practical needs while staying connected with your partner is vital for a healthy marriage.
Decision-Making in Parenting
Difficulties in making parenting decisions can stress a marriage. Establishing structure, sharing responsibilities, and communicating effectively can ease tensions and strengthen the bond.
Overcoming Disconnection
Challenges in a marriage may lead to a sense of disconnect. Understanding each other’s perspectives, addressing differences, and finding common ground can help build a stronger relationship.
Building a Positive Relationship Environment
To overcome marital challenges, prioritizing a harmonious relationship over power struggles is crucial.
Rekindling Intimacy
Show genuine interest in your partner’s life, express your thoughts openly, and connect deeply to reignite intimacy and bolster the bond.
Reviving Passion
Recall the excitement of your early relationship days. Keeping the spark alive through fun activities and gestures of appreciation can reignite passion in your marriage.
Addressing Unresolved Issues
Topics like intimacy, finances, and family dynamics that remain unresolved can strain a marriage. Openly discussing these issues and providing support can maintain emotional and physical intimacy.
Navigating the Middle Years of Marriage
The middle years of marriage may bring emotional challenges and a desire for change. By openly addressing obstacles and working on strengthening the relationship, couples can successfully navigate this phase together.
Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, discusses the midlife crisis phase, when individuals question their sense of purpose and may make drastic changes in career or relationships.
Remember — your spouse is not disposable. Midlife crises often involve seeking meaning and fulfillment. Treating your partner with respect and care is vital, as they are not interchangeable commodities.
It’s a time for introspection and resetting. For me, this meant reflecting on what constitutes a fulfilling life. No one person can fulfill all aspects of your life; living well requires asking tough questions and being intentional in acts of kindness, effort, and gratitude.
In a world offering endless possibilities, addressing discontent involves asking, “Is this all there is?” Making a deliberate decision is pivotal. Renewing a relationship demands increased collaboration, communication, resolving familial conflicts, strengthening emotional bonds, and navigating uncertainties of midlife.
A study from Brigham Young University found that couples who persevered for over 15 years reported a growing sense of happiness. This indicates that they confidently answered, “Yes, this is it!” to the question of whether their relationship was worth it.
Reta Walker, a seasoned relationship therapist, specializes in helping couples rediscover their connection after 25+ years of practice.